I was never such a liar before I became a mother

Mom translations:

"It's broken." = "I took the batteries out because I couldn't stand 'the itsy bitsy spider' one more time."

"It must be lost." = "You outgrew that princess dress two years ago."

"I don't know where it is." = "I don't know where it is. It could be in any number of land fills by now."

Wait...what?

So, today I get a regular ol' notice from my health insurance. Slipped in with the invoice is this note: "Can you read this letter? If not, we can have somebody help you read it."